420-character story status updatesPieter posted in "Status updates". 3 years ago
Today, 4/20 in U.S. data notation, is also known as 420-day. Coincidentally, or not, 420 is also the Facebook Status Update character limit. Because it’s the number of active chemicals in marijuana? Teatime in Holland? Hitler’s birthday? Clocks in Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction? The time (4:20 PM) a bunch of Californian teens would meet after school at to smoke marijuana?
To celebrate this ambiguous day, we have searched for Facebook statuses that are exactly 420 characters. Turns out there’s a site out there collecting precisely that. FaceFic, which was only active from April until June 2009, has a few dozen stories in different categories ranging from romance over sci-fi to thriller. Each story counts no more and no less than 420 characters, so they fit right into the status update box.
Here are a few of our favorite Facebook fiction status update stories taken from FaceFic:
She turned off the TV, and closed the news websites. Most of it should not be classed as news, just second rate gossip. The rest of it was depressing and repetitive. There is a crisis, we know! The bubble had to burst at some point. Thanks for pointing it out, again. She found solace in the one medium that was providing her with real entertainment. Scroll past the obvious procrastination, to the vivid 420 characters.
by Clare Rix
I was twelve when I first realised that nobody else was real. Oh sure, they thought they were, and they got so huffy when I mentioned (casually, in passing) that I was the only real person in the world. But I knew. I could tell, because none of them knew how to slorf. Do you know how to slorf? Well then, you’re not real either, obviously! And slorfing is so simple, it’s — hmmm, that’s odd. I’m sure I used to know…
by Eric TF Bat
The mighty huntress spies her prey in the distance. She watches – waits. Choosing her moment she closes in, with stealthily sinuous steps, so as not to alert other nearby predators to her find. Negotiating the terrain with swift precision, she makes her move with practiced deliberation, skillfully taking down the sitting target and dragging it off. The hunt ended, the victorious roar issues forth: “Woo Hoo! 50% Off!”
by Emma Evans
The world didn’t end with a bang. Disappointing. I had always hoped it would. But instead it slowly choked, while weeding out the very elements that could have lead to its salvation. Like a parasite consuming its host, the creatures upon it devoured everything in their sight. Poor, beautiful, Pyraxia never stood a chance. An interesting exercise… I think I might give it another go. I think I’ll call this one Earth.
by Andrew Blake
With the “girl reporter” safe now on a rooftop, the Hero was about to leap skyward, so she said, “Stop.” Ever courteous, he stopped. “Don’t you think,” she began, “we should stop playing silly games? You must know I want you, and if I’m reading that bulge in your red shorts correctly, the feeling’s mutual.” The alien smiled ruefully. “I’m sorry, Miss. I only look human. The bulge? It’s my secondary kidney.” And away.
by Eric TF Bat
The first baby girl to be born with wings made international headlines. By the time the tenth was born, it was old news. Environmental contamination or evolutionary advance? Nobody knew. The wings were harmless and fun. As the girls grew, and learned to fly, it became clear they were beneficial. No-one knew why only girls had them, but no-one minded. It was cute! Until the first boy was born with dear little horns…
by Eric TF Bat
Have a laidback 420-day!