What’s the maximum length of a Facebook status update?

How do you post two pics in side by side in your FB status

ஏன் பீசா,kfc போன்ற ஆடம்பரமான உணவுகள் இருந்தும் கூட எனக்குப் பிடிக்கவில்லை அதில் தாயின் பாசம் எனும் சுவை சேர்க்கப்படவில்லை. ஆயிரம் உறவுகள் இருந்தும் எனக்கு பிடிக்கவில்லை அங்கு தாயின் அரவணைப்பு கிடைக்கவில்லை. அன்று நீ என்னை அடித்த வலியினால் கோபாம் கொண்டு கண்ணீர் விட்டேன் இன்று அடித்தாவது தொடமாட்டாயா என்று உன் பாதம் தேடி பாசத்துடன் கண்ணீர் விடுகிறேன். எப்போது உன்னை மீண்டும் பார்பேன் நாட்கள் விரைகிறது ஆனால் உன்னை வந்து சேரும் நாள் இன்னும் வரவில்லையே

ஏன் பீசா,kfc போன்ற ஆடம்பரமான உணவுகள் இருந்தும் கூட எனக்குப் பிடிக்கவில்லை அதில் தாயின் பாசம் எனும் சுவை சேர்க்கப்படவில்லை. ஆயிரம் உறவுகள் இருந்தும் எனக்கு பிடிக்கவில்லை அங்கு தாயின் அரவணைப்பு கிடைக்கவில்லை. அன்று நீ என்னை அடித்த வலியினால் கோபாம் கொண்டு கண்ணீர் விட்டேன் இன்று அடித்தாவது தொடமாட்டாயா என்று உன் பாதம் தேடி பாசத்துடன் கண்ணீர் விடுகிறேன். எப்போது உன்னை மீண்டும் பார்பேன் நாட்கள் விரைகிறது ஆனால் உன்னை வந்து சேரும் நாள் இன்னும் வரவில்லையே

I thought it had to with smoking pot...ooops...I was never here...

i done 310 words.. :P

If you walked up to 100 random people on any random street anywhere in the world and asked them to immediately recall what they were doing on April 8, 2008, I feel certain from a statistical standpoint far less than 1% of the total sampling would have the slightest clue.

Admittedly for almost any other date in the 25 plus years of my life, I too would fall into that category as well. But I vividly recall April 8, 2008, as much as any other date in my life. It’s not everyday a person gets wheeled into an ICU or in this French case, a USI berth.

The two things that will always remain clearest in my mind was that I was attached to more tubes and machines than I chose to count and right next to me, was what appeared to be a 900 year old Santa Claus impersonator. He didn’t exactly look like St. Nick, he looked much older. Even though I was in a bit of pain, the morphine was working and I actually felt ok, considering. But 7 feet away, Father Time looked like he got run over by a monster truck. The thought of saying hello to him was out of the question because he was moaning and groaning in pain too loudly to have even heard me. I facetiously and cruelly thought to myself, “This is just great. I wonder how long it will be before Methuselah dies, so I can get some peaceful silence.”

Later that day, a few of the old man’s family were allowed in to visit him. With zero prompting from me whatsoever, they decided to visit me as well, even sitting on the edge of my bed. I reminded my self to shut up and be nice and pretend to be a warm, pleasant young man. Sorry, but sometimes overly nice people freak me out. After all, I’m from South Florida. I would then learn my roomie was actually a 77 year old rabbi from London and had the exact same liver transplant procedure that I had. I quickly deduced it would be bad karma to be rude to a rabbi, his wife and his sons, so I took a deep breath and “personalitied” up.

In the next few days, the rabbi and I both began physical improving and we actually started forming some sort of weird bond. He would talk to me about God and spirituality and I would counter with how some bacon and beer would hit the spot and how amazing Nurse Audrey’s ass looked in her tight white pants. He always tried to give me the impression he was ignoring me, but I detected a light smile occasionally.

On my 5th day there, I was given clearance to leave and go home. The rabbi and I were now like odd couple type friends. We exchanged email addresses and promised to stay in touch. He even said a prayer over me and told my mother I was the nicest young man he ever met. When I explained to my mother not to take what he said too seriously, because he was a little senile, he let out a really nice laugh as my mother turned red and threatened to hit me on top of the head with his cane.

We did stay in touch over the past 15 months with emails and I even made a visit to London in April to see him work. But as of July 22nd our friendship here on earth ended. Rabbi G died early this morning from complications of a virus he contracted. His son called me to tell me he died peacefully in his sleep. He also thanked me for taking an interest in the old man and making him laugh with the “daft” things I would say. He is mailing me a note the rabbi wrote out to me last week along with a Star of David he wanted me to have. The rabbi was given the star at his bar mitzvah in 1944 in London. It took place underground in a tube station as German bombs were hitting the ground above. It will go on my chain next to my cartouche and never leave my neck.

I guess I’ll always recall what took place on July 22, 2009 as well. I don’t know if I believe we go anyplace good when we finish up on earth, but if we do, when it’s my time to check out, I’d be cool with hanging a few days in the next bed over from Rabbi G one more time. I wonder if Nurse Audrey will still look good in those tight white pants

I just tested this and found the limit to be 401 characters - FYI.