Coffee Status Updates for FacebookPieter posted in "Status updates". 5 years ago
Morning thunder statuses:
…wouldn’t be a morning person even if it were for all the coffee in Columbia.
…needs more than just coffee to get going today. Jumper cables, anyone?
…knows coffee can’t cure everything, but it can cure mornings.
…orchestrates his/her mornings to the tune of coffee.
Need more or had too much rocket fuel Facebook statuses:
…has too much blood in my caffeine.
…is so wired after two cups of coffee, he/she’s picking up a Brazilian radio station.
‘s blood type? Coffee.
Cup o’ Joe theories:
…coffee is nature’s way of saying “Go ahead, get trashed on a weeknight… I got your back.”
…thinks Espresso is to Italy what champagne is to France.
…thinks sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
…wants to know Starbucks’ secret ingredient that makes people willing to pay $4.00 for a cup of coffee.
…thinks there’s life after coffee.
…thinks of coffee as skydiver juice: good till the last drop!
…thinks sleep is the mere illusion that occurs when there is not enough cafein to displace the bloodcells.
…thinks coffee isn’t a beverage. It’s a pleasure.
…wants you to be a coffee-drinking individual: espresso yourself!
Sexy coffee status updates:
…drinks coffee because we don’t get sex breaks.
…likes to compare coffee in the morning to sex in the evening.
…likes (wo)men like (s)he likes coffee: hot, steamy and keeping you up all night.
How you like your cupped lightning:
…likes his/her coffee so strong it wakes up the neighbors.
…likes his/her coffee strong, not lethal.
…likes his/her coffee black as a moonless night.
…likes his/her coffee like James Brown: black and proud.
…likes things rich: chocolate, coffee and (wo)men.
…will sleep when (he/she)’s dead. Until then, there’s coffee.
…doesn’t have a problem with caffeine, (he/she) has a problem without it.
…is my name and I’m a coffee-a-holic.
…goes to sleep, so (he/she) can wake up for coffee.
…loves you, but not as much as my coffee.
…will quit coffee, but it won’t be easy drinking my rum straight in the morning.
…measured out his/her life with coffee spoons.
…would like to stop drinking coffee, but he/she’s no quitter.
…is surprised they don’t sell coffee perfume yet.
BONUS: The television series that made us drink coffee religiously: