Pro tip: if you can’t say it in 140 or less PUT IT ON FACEBOOK.

Girl at work- “I just joined facebook!” me-“You joined facebook? with a face like that? .. it should be called horse book”. I got the bird.

Absolut is on Facebook! I could be virtual friends with vodka! And you thought Facebook sucked.

I just got 100% on a Facebook quiz and experienced a huge boost in self esteem until I remembered it was a Facebook quiz…so there’s that.

If we’re friends on Facebook AND I follow you on Twitter AND you auto-post Twitter updates to Facebook: do you prefer unfollow or de-friend?

This family reunion is driving me nuts, and I can’t even complain about it on facebook because half my family is on facebook!!!

I swear I just saw a Facebook quiz titled, “What kind of Facebook quiz taker are you?” And by swear, I mean I’m making it up completely.

Facebook knows that I’m single so it assumes I’m interested in dating services. Do married Facebook users get ads for divorce lawyers?

Jungle drums, smoke signals, morse code… You got to admit, human communication methods of the past were amazingly cool. Not always as efficient and accessible as the ones we’re using today, but still, I’d prefer the talking drums over a Tweet anytime.

Complaining about being on Facebook while on Facebook. I’ve reached a whole new level of completely expected faux-pretentious irony.

So why are the Facebook ads insisting I need a lesbian lover? I would appreciate the Facebook ads not being so obsessed w/my groin.

Hurray for all the quiz/app/notification-haters! Facebook is building a “faster, simpler version of Facebook” called Facebook Lite. The slimmed down version is far from finished, but a happy few have been given an early preview.

Facebook, I do not want to give my mom a facebook gift. I would prefer to keep my mom off of Facebook. Please do not encourage this madness.

According to the most recent Facebook survey, I spend way too much time doing stupid Facebook surveys.