Status Saturday: Inglourious Basterds Status Updates

This week’s Status Saturday is an hommage to the movie of the decade, the two and a half exciting hours of wish-fulfillment fantasy that is Inglourious Basterds. (Disclaimer: My love for this movie is biased. I’m a huge Tarantino fan). Here are a selection of Facebook status updates for real basterds:

…wants his Nazi scalps!
…is gonna be doing one thing and one thing only… killing Nazis.
…is in the killin’ Nazi business, and cousin, business is a-boomin’.
…sure as hell didn’t come down from the goddamn Smoky mountains, cross five thousand miles of ocean, jump out of an air-o-plane, fight a way through half of Sicily, to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity! Nazi ain’t got no humanity.
…respectfully refuses.
…wants to send a message to Germany.
…knows fightin’ in a basement offers a lot of difficulties. Number one being, you’re fightin’ in a basement!
…is waiting for the cream.
…has a death trap rendez-vous in a basement.
…has been chewed out before.
…punches those goons out, takes their machine guns and bursts in there blasting!

If you don’t want to offend any friends, or just don’t want to talk about killin Nazi’s, you can replace the subject with anything you like. Eg. “Dwergs is gonna be doing one thing and one thing only…party all weekend long!” Relisted below are the status updates you can modify:

…is gonna be doing one thing and one thing only… […]
…is in the […] business, and cousin, business is a-boomin’.
…wants his […] scalps!
…sure as hell didn’t come down from the goddamn Smoky mountains, cross five thousand miles of ocean, jump out of an air-o-plane, fight a way through half of Sicily, to […]!

Quentin Tarantino has a thing for nicknames. Think “Mr. Pink” in Reservoir Dogs and “The Wolf” in Pulp Fiction. Here are the nicknames used in Inglourious Basterds, which you can put next to your name in a status update.

aka The Bear Jew
aka Aldo the Apache
aka The Little Man
aka Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz
aka The […] Hunter

See you next week for another Status Saturday! (Or earlier for any other Facebook related posts).