Status Saturday: Mother’s Day Statuses

Tomorrow, the second Sunday of May, mothers around the world will be treated like a queen. Mother’s Day will be celebrated in many countries, including but not limited to Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Hong Kong, Italy, the Netherlands, and the United States. We dedicated yesterday’s Facebook Fail Friday to moms and for today’s Status Saturday we have ─as promised─ selected a bunch of Facebook Status Updates you can use to adulate your mom, but also as a mom.

Sweet Mother’s Day Statuses:

…knows that a mother understands what a child does not say.

…’s mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.

…knows that mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.

…believes that God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.

Witty Mother’s Day Status Updates:

…thinks a man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.

…thinks a Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

…doesn’t care how poor a man is; if he has a family, he’s rich.

…thinks a mother delivers children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.

…thinks a man’s work is from sun to sun, but a mother’s work is never done.

Status Updates for mothers to use:

…is a parent, cook, housekeeper, teacher, nurse, handy man, maid, security, coordinator, supervisor, manager, secretary, nutritionist, caretaker, personal assistant, life coach, bookkeeper, laundry maid, taxi driver and motivational speaker. I don’t get holiday pay, sick pay, or days off. I am on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Now, tell me your job is harder than mine.

…traded eyeliner for dark circles, salon hair cuts for ponytails and braids, long showers for hairy legs, late nights for early mornings, designer purses for diaper bags and I wouldn’t change a thing!

And to conclude, here’s a set of “Respectful Yo Mama Jokes” as written by Lukas Klauss in response to the thousands of insulting Yo Momma jokes out there:

…Yo mama is so healthy her BMI is probably exactly within the ideal range for a woman her age.

…Yo mama is so well respected within her profession that I bet she’ll get another raise and promotion this year despite the downward trajectory of the economy.

…Yo mama is so good at cooking she should open her own restaurant. I’d be the first customer.

…Yo mama is so attractive she could be on the cover of Prevention.

…Yo mama is so Internet-savvy she should start her own social-networking site designed specifically for moms. It would be really popular.

…Yo mama is so good at listening she makes you feel like she’s put everything aside to focus all her attention on you. That’s a really great trait to have.