Status Saturday: Hip Hop Facebook Status Updates

Are you feelin’ gangsta today? Then this selection of 20 cool status updates based on the lyrics of both popular and more undeground hip hop songs will do the trick. I’ve added the artist between parenthesis after each line, but it’s up to you if you credit him or let your Facebook friends guess where you got it from. Oh, and feel free to add your own if you can come up with any dope hip hop punchlines.

…is gonna run this town tonight. (Jay-Z)

…likes the playettes. (Blackstreet)

…likes the way you work it. No diggity, I try to bag it up, bag it up. (Blackstreet)

…didn’t go to high school, but went to school high. (The LOX)

…can drink a whole Hennessey fifth. Some call that a problem, I call it a gift. (Xzibit)

…only gets boos from bartenders. (Dilated Peoples)

…never sleeps, ’cause sleep is the cousin of death. (Nas)

…invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches, vain Vicadin, vrinnn vrinn, VRINNN! (Eminem)

…ain’t acid rap, but I rap on acid. Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added.  (Eminem)

…loves you like a fat kid loves cake. (50 Cent)

…is moving like a tortoise, full of rigor mortis. (NWA)

…is not saying I’m number one, uhh, I’m sorry, I lied. I’m number one, two, three, four and five. (KRS One)

…said a hip hop the hippie the hippy to the hip hip hop, a you don’t stop. (Sugarhill Gang)

…drops unexpectedly like bird shit. (Notorious B.I.G.)

…gets a lot of brain… I’m a genius. More rings than Saturn but I’m hot like Venus. (J-Dawg)

…is like a car with no brakes ’cause ain’t no stoppin’ me. (J-Dawg)

…is like a trademark ’cause ain’t no coppin’me. (J-Dawg)

…feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace. (Ludacris)

…is a provider, girl, gotta face the streets tonight. (N*E*R*D)

…is an outlaw, quick on the draw. (N*E*R*D)

BONUS: I know Beck ain’t no hip hop, but I just love this line:

…gettin’ crazy with the Cheez Whiz. (Beck)