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The Facebook Profile of a Terrorist

Based on intelligence provided by the entire world press, we believe this is the Facebook profile of Shahzad Faisal, who was arrested for the attempted a car bombing last Saturday in New York’s Times Square. Let’s take a closer look at his profile page and analyze some of its elements.

The alleged terrorist has 113 Facebook friends and something tells us all of them can expect a visit or call from the FBI anytime soon. The married father-of-two has a favorite quote which goes “The best gift can father give to their childrens is just love their mother [sic]”, and under interests he openly prioritizes work over family (“Work and then family“). Nothing peculiar here as he perfectly blends in as a hardworking (and slightly illiterate) American.

Now under activities he lists “Drive”. Bomb cars, we silently add in our thoughts. We also learn that while driving his Nissan Pathfinder SUV, he likes to listen to every genre of music except hard rock. It would’ve been really ironic if he parked his car in front of the Hard Rock Café on Times Square… but we all know he didn’t. The bomb car was instead parked near Viacom, owners of South Park, and maybe that’s because in one episode of their controversial cartoon series, the Islam-founder and prophet Muhammad appeared in a bear suit.

Favorite TV show? It just so happens to be the Tom & Jerry show. Unfortunately for Shahzad Faisal, the 53-hour cat-and-mouse-game he played with the FBI ended unlike his favorite cartoon… with the mouse getting caught.

And finally, for the most disturbing clue, we learn from one of the Pages he likes that the suspected terrorist was playing… FarmVille. We dare to believe it was this addictive, little game that distracted him from putting together an effective makeshift bomb inside his suburban garage after months of explosives training in Pakistan. Yes, in a surprise M. Night Shyamalan twist ending of this terrorism story, FarmVille saves lives!

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The Facebook Profile of a Terrorist Posted by on May 5, 2010 at 5:43 PM. Use this trackback if you're linking this story.

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