10 types of Facebook users

Sick of receiving friend requests from random people, Tom “Mantoast” decided to call it quits and delete his Facebook account of many years. Then over a cup of tea, as some sort of closure, he wrote down the 10 types of people you find on Facebook. Here are the first five:

Peeping Tom

You have not spoken to this person in years, more than likely it’s a old school friend. They add you and you wait … nothing … they don’t PM you or write on your wall and even if you do ever bump in to them on the street they won’t even make eye contact. So why did the add you? So they can look at your photos to see if you got fat and ugly.

The Newbie

Somehow the newbie has been hiding under a rock while we have been laughing at photos of cats speaking funny and of people doing wrong things in to cups, but once the newbie has come out hiding they can’t believe all the wonders of the internet and can’t stop posting everything they find, even if we have all seen it a million times before. 9 out of 10 times the newbie will be your mum!

The uploader

It’s Sunday morning and your head hurts, there is a kebab to your left and a little sick stain to your right. You can’t remember getting home, but that’s ok as one of your friends took a camera out last night and has already uploaded every photo (Well all of them apart from the ones that make them look bad). By the time you have dragged yourself out of bed that photo of you being sick has already got 10 comments. Aren’t you glad you added your family as a friend on facebook?

The soapbox stand

This person thinks everything is wrong with the world, and they might be right, but they think making a group called “Why do I have to pay for people to take my rain water away” will fix the world. This person will have about 50 different group’s created but about 10 people following them. As soon as they get a bee in their bonnet they will create a group about it

You

You hate all the above people on facebook but you can’t stop logging in at home and work to see what’s been posted… you will be sat there looking at the screen thinking all your friend’s idiots and you know what… they are!

» For Tom’s other five types of Facebook users, check out his blog.